7 Ways to Encourage Your Child By Jan Undlock

As a parent you have to get meals on the table, help find homework, and clean up after the puppy. You tell your child many times to get dressed or pick up his toys. You are exhausted. And it is only 7 a.m. Yet how many times has a short encouraging phone call from a friend lighten your day? A thoughtful note can change your attitude in an instant. Likewise, your child also needs words of encouragement. Here are quick and simple ways you can encourage your child and bring a smile to his face.

Speak out.
Tell your child at least once a day you love and believe in her, no matter what. You know how precious she is to you, but does she? Slow down, look in her face, and tell her “It’s important to encourage kids because they need to know that someone absolutely believes in them and their abilities—and who better than their parents?” says Barbara Johnson, Executive Director of Child Advocates.

Offer praise.
At the dinner table when you are passing the potatoes, make the announcement how proud you are of your child. In front of the rest of the family, mention how well he made his bed. Do not add negative comments. ”But he could have smoothed out his covers better.” Give the praise report without the criticism.

Catch the deed.
“Encourage the effort instead of praising the product,” says Trish Rohani, Marriage and Family MA student intern. With some children it is more difficult to find positive behaviors. Watch him throughout the day and catch something small. Comment on it! “I saw you wanted to argue with me but you didn’t. You showed self control.”

Reward the behavior.
Make a plan to promote good behavior. When out in public, if your child receives a compliment from someone on her positive behavior, she gets to go for ice cream. Compliments on her physical appearance do not count. After the librarian tells her how quietly she stood in line include a treat stop on your errands list. This plan promotes good behavior.

Leave notes.
Leave notes on his bed or in pockets of clothing telling him you are proud of him. “I appreciate the way you were kind to your sister when she took the toy from you.” “You want to be specific and not general with your encouragement,” says Liz Wong, elementary school educator. In a casual way tell your child you see the effort he makes.

Reach out.
Hug your child. “Touch, sight, sound, smell, and taste all play a role in early attachments between parents and child,” says Rohani. Rustle his hair and smile in his face. As you are talking to him, reach out and place your hand on his shoulder or leg. Grab him for a quick hug.

Brag!
Yes, you have been told it is not polite to brag, but in this case, it is necessary. Find another mom to trade bragging rights. Make sure your child is in the room, and brag to the other parent on how hard your child studied for a test. He may act like he did not hear it, but he did.

Sometimes as a parent you get caught up in constant correction. You wonder if you are the best parent for the job. So will words of praise inspire your child? Try it and find out for yourself.

Jan Udlock is a homeschooling mom of 5 and a freelance writer. She loves both jobs most of the time.